It is in the ordinary course of an individual’s life that more lows than highs in their sex lives occur as they age. In fact, between the hormonal changes that your body experience and the daily inconveniences and pressure that result in putting sex on low priority, you’re doomed to feel a loss in sexual desire, also known as libido.
However, if your loss of libido is not related to the natural aging of your body, you may have bigger fish to fry.
It is good to know that the loss of sexual desire is a cycle, and it can be dealt with. Whether it’s making significant adjustments in your relationship or dealing with improving your general well-being, there are ways to get right on track.
Acceptance is Taboo
While the loss of sexual desire may be typical, many individuals don’t like talking about it. In fact, a lot of people deny they even experience it. Why? It’s embarrassing for most of us men to talk about our problems in the bedroom.
There seems to be this unspoken pressure and expectation that steamy scenes you see in films are what should be in reality. But the truth is the relationships we see onscreen are few and far between the real mess and struggles real couples go through.
Remember: the first step to dealing with any problem is admitting there is one.
When you have finally come to terms that you have a problem with sexual desire, take a step back from your life and figure out the root cause of the issue, then think of ways to address them.
The Link Between Sex and Stress
One common cause of a loss of libido is stress. Let’s face it. Everyone gets frazzled. In his book, “Stress and the Manager,” Dr. Karl Albrecht discusses four of the most common types of stress: deadlines and schedules, people interactions, unexpected situations, and the future.
Although there are people who resort to sex to relieve stress, others cannot seem to get intimate because of it. This is because both physiological and psychological effects come into play as your body experiences stress.
Increasing physical activity such as medication and exercise are fantastic methods to keep stress levels at bay. Speaking to your partner about your stress situation can also calm you down and, at the same time, reinforce your relationship.
Being more physical and mentally attuned together with being more emotionally attuned to your partner increases your chances of taking the edge off from the reasons that keep you stressed.
Scarcity of Sleep
You have to admit – when you lack the hours of sleep that your body is used to, you are grumpy, and you are tired. According to Allison T. Siebern, Ph.D., sleep deprivation leads to mood swings due to fatigue and low energy.
The solution to this is to get adequate amounts of sleep. If work and other commitments do not allow you to sleep for a more extended period of time, focus on what can improve the quality of your sleep.
Crisis in the Psyche
Unfortunately, for some, loss in sexual desire stems from psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, and past trauma. These issues affect the chemical makeup of your brain because of the prescribed medicines taken or because they are undetected or untreated.
If you feel that something might be seriously amiss with how you feel and think, talk to your partner or consider seeking professional help. Support is something you cannot get without when dealing with a chemical imbalance in your body.
The Bond that Breaks
The loss of sexual desire can affect your relationship unless you do something about it.
Communication is always the first step. Let your partner in on your relationship problems. If the issues are outside the bedroom, be open about them. Being truthful to your partner about your libido woes can take your intimacy to an entirely new level and relieve any tension that could have surfaced in the relationship.
If you feel that your sex life with your partner is getting rather dull, get a little creative. Switch up your garden variety foreplay with something kinkier to reawaken those carnal desires.
Ever put off that beach trip you have been planning to take a year ago? Disconnecting from the world and living in your own little bubble with your partner away from your home can get you reconnected. Who knows, you can spice things up, too.
If you cannot go on a beach getaway anytime soon, consider doing something different as a couple. For example, you can enroll in a photography class, buy a pet, or play couple of games. The possibilities are endless!
Think About Therapy
Going to a therapist of any kind can sound nerve-racking, and considering a sex therapist may leave you feeling unpleasant. It should not be, though.
Think of sex therapy as counseling. You can do it on your own or with your partner. Either way, you have an impartial party involved in working through your libido issues, which can eventually bring fresh eyes to your situation.
Let’s Get It On!
Loss of sexual desire is a problem, but you can fix it. The first step is accepting that it is your problem and that you cannot do it alone. Don’t be afraid to involve your partner every step of the way. If you must, consult a professional like a sex therapist.
Can you relate to any of these root causes? If you do, don’t turn a deaf ear. Instead, take matters into your own hands and find a solution to improve your sexual desire. This will not only make you happy but your partner, too.